self-care

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Twenty three years ago…

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I gave birth to my firstborn on February 6th. We celebrated last week, so I’m a little late with my post. When your babies are little and as they grow, your mind doesn’t imagine them as adults. At least, mine didn’t. I hope that means I was in the moment. So much has transpired in 23 years that I can hardly believe I’m a mom to this handsome young adult. I’m grateful to have taken so many pictures over the years to remind me because the time goes by so fast, and my memory can get fuzzy.

I can hear my daughter, Elise, complaining , “How come there aren’t as many pictures of me when I was little?” Well, any mom of multiple children know why. However, the tables have turned because whilst I have many solo pictures of Caleb from baby through toddler years, I now mostly have pictures with and of Elise because she entertains my love of pictures (to a point), but Caleb hasn’t liked taking Caleb pictures for years.

When the radiologist told us we were having a boy, I remember fear jolting inside of me because I only imagined my first child being a girl. I didn’t know if I would be a great boy mom, mostly because there weren’t a lot of men in my family. I was surrounded by girls.

Caleb made being his mom easy. He was so sweet and clingy as a baby initially. Oh, and he was 12.2 pounds at birth, so he was also heavy. He’s always been gentle natured with a kind spirit. I’m pleasantly surprised that he’s turned out to be a diligent, thoughtful, practical, insightful young man who loves to cook. In fact, cooking has been his profession at a fine dining restaurant for a year. I have no doubt in my mind where he gets it. He had 2 beautiful grandmothers who cooked exceptionally. Naturally, my mom passed it on to me.

Being a mom to an adult has been an adjustment for both of us, especially me. He’s still trying to figure out what direction he wants to go in, and I respect that. My husband, Bryan, and I have shared our different paths, and even though the paths had some bumps in the road, look at us now. I believe most parents don’t want their children to suffer unnecessarily. We paved the way for better, so we think, but they need to do things their way to a point because it’s their life.

I am intentional about being a “coach” for my son because as your children go through the different phases in life, parents need to adjust their parenting, However, being a coach to my own child is not intuitive for me. I’m grateful for my older friend reminding me that boys take a little longer, so give them time. I hold onto that, and I do see his progress. I will always be that nurturing coach for my babe.

With that, here are some of my favorite photos of my favorite firstborn throughout his life. Happy birthday, son!

❤️

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Bloganuary is over and what’s next

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Hello February! I managed to blog on at least 15 topics offered through the Bloganuary prompts in January. Even though I’ve been blogging for years, I’ve found participating in these prompts as a great way to practice writing on the fly, share thoughts, build support for my blog, learn about other perspectives and blogs, interact with other bloggers, and all around harness the blogging habit.

I haven’t officially confirmed, but this might be my third year. I didn’t blog on every topic, and with 15 Bloganuary posts, this might be the least I’ve done for January since I’ve participated. Between the “daily” prompts and Bloganuary, the topics can be similar or just don’t appeal to me. Also, after participating for years, I’ve answered the prompts at some point, so it becomes repetitive.

Last year, traffic on my blog increased substantially, which I attribute to engaging through the “prompt” platforms. I’m grateful for all the likes and comments, and I love connecting with people.

Now that Bloganuary has ended, I’m returning to my favorite topics, such as blogging about my self-care tips and activities, providing health updates, sharing healthy foods I cook, lessons I’m learning in my day to day life, and all the photos I take.

So, if you’re reading this, I hope you stick around.

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My word for 2024

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Since December 2023, I’ve been thinking of what is the one word that will guide me in the upcoming year. For 2023, my word was “FRUITION” because I had been working on several things personally and professionally, and I needed that work to finally pay off.

Unfortunately, in 2023, I did receive news I wasn’t expecting, a diagnosis: multiple sclerosis. However, when I think about it, that came to “FRUITION” too because there were 15 years of prior health issues that led to it.

Professionally, my phrase was “word smarter, not harder.” At the beginning of 2023, I blogged about why I chose this mindset, and it has paid off. I needed to work differently for my mental health.

Well, I’m not the only person thinking about selecting a word as a guide or theme rather than (or in conjunction with) New Year’s resolutions. In a workgroup meeting a few weeks ago, the facilitator, who had never heard of this practice, asked each of us what our one word was. I rested on this word after weeks of consideration because it felt so right, and I was confident that this would be my word.

My word for 2024 is “RELENTLESS” and I said it proudly. I selected this word for many reasons, but it most has to do with me no longer taking the stance of dilly dallying (or not playing around, or not taking things seriously, or putting off things I need to do) on things I’ve known I need to take care of for a long time.

Life is short, and I feel it. There are some things within my control. I will be RELENTLESS about:

  • Attending to my health
  • Self-care
  • Stewarding my finances appropriately
  • Paying off debt
  • Effecting change at work
  • Speaking up and sharing my thoughts
  • Protecting my peace
  • Expressing love and extending grace, especially to my loved ones
  • Pouring into and being a nurturing mom to my children (18 and soon to be 23 years old)
  • Rest and rejuvenation

Unlike 2023, I didn’t create a new vision board because I believe the old one still applies. I spent New Year’s Eve with a friend and her family in Houston, and for their vision boards, her nieces printed stock images and even had prints developed for theirs. I was impressed with their thoughtfulness and planning.

2023 Vision Board- It’s hanging on a wall in my closet.

The beautiful graphic on my tea mug on the cover photo illustrates the type of energy I’m exuding in 2024. I’m strong, brave, confident, layered, loving, driven, bright, bold, and magnetic.

What are you looking forward to in 2024?

LPC
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January No Spend Challenge

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One of my goals for this year is to save SAve SAVE money. I’ve followed various personal finance professionals for years and even just some relatable people on Youtube who are on a financial journey. I made up my mind that 2024 is the year for discipline in this area.

At 50 years old, the urgency to get my finances in order is strong. If I retire at 65, then I have 15 more working years. I don’t know what the future holds, but I want to be prepared. I put in the hard work in 2023 and, at the end of the year, got a new position through a competitive process. This increased my income substantially, but these taxes…

A “no spend” challenge has been the buzz on the Youtube channels I follow starting in December 2023. A “no spend” challenge can be operationalized in different ways, but it basically means that you will only spend money on your needs and not your wants. You will, of course, pay all of your essential bills (housing, transportation, utilities, food), but things like clothes, eating out, and other recreational activities are out. It is wise to plan ahead for the challenge to set yourself up for success. I made sure I purchased all of my necessary groceries and that I understood all that needed to be paid in January.

What I vowed to do was adhere to my grocery and eating out budget because for my household, that’s where things can get ridiculous. I also decided to abstain from spending money on the “wants”.

I did allow for some exceptions like eating out on 1/1/2024 because we spent New Year’s weekend in Houston with friends, so we were traveling. I bought a few extra items on the grocery bill for our daughter, who was returning to her dorm for the spring semester. I also have a monthly lunch with friends, so I participated in that. Finally, my husband ordered food after my infusion treatment on Friday, 1/26/2024, because I knew I’d be exhausted. I’ll blog about the treatment in a separate post.

This challenge really does allow you to get used to not spending money on a whim. It allows you to be more thoughtful about how you use your money. It allows you to appreciate what you do have. Keep in mind that my challenge is for the full month of January, so I think the longer you do it, the more benefit you will receive. You may choose a week (which I’ve done before), 2 weeks, a month or a year! Yes, I’ve heard of people doing this for a year!

Some things that I wanted to buy that I had to regroup on are fresh flowers, a mattress pad (which I will buy in February), bed sheets, and Bath & Body Works candles, and scented oil wall refills. It wasn’t too bad, probably because I received all of my favorite toiletries for Christmas. I also purged and gave away a lot of clothes during the Christmas break, and I still have plenty.

I have a few more days in January to go, and I’m proud of myself. I might do another round in February or maybe do this quarterly. I like the idea of tailoring this to what works best for me.

What are your financial goals in 2024?

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Bloganuary V.13 – Clutter

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Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

I’m making it a point to reduce email clutter. I have 3 personal email accounts, which has to change. I intended one for professional and medical and the other for more casual things like newsletters and coupons/offerings from my favorite vendors. About once a year, I do a major purge by unsubscribing to subscriptions I don’t need and DELETING old emails. I keep fooling myself into thinking I’ll go back to an email, but I rarely do. It just clutters my inbox.

I’m going to be doing an email purge on all accounts before the end of January and will maintain more frequently because the emails take up too much mental and virtual space.

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Bloganuary V.11 – Snacks

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What snack would you eat right now?

If you follow my blog, then you’ll know I’m a foodie. Since it’s still kind of early in my part of the world, I don’t have the taste for a particular snack right now but I am enjoying a cappuccino which I partake in once or twice a week.

I will share some photos of snacks I’ve prepared and enjoyed over the last few months…some might be considered meals like the cover photo, but who’s tracking???

Skyr yogurt parfait with strawberries, spicy peanuts, cinnamon, & a little maple syrup
Cappuccino, homemade banana bread, treat
I love these!
Pistachios are my fave nut!
Homemade herbalicious hummus!
Tuna & cucumbers with corn chips
And I can’t get enough of these green smoothies. A little fruit I have on hand, seeds on hand (chia, flax, hemp), liquid (water, brewed tea, milk of choice), and greens of choice. The combinations are endless!😋

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Bloganuary V.8 – Long life

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What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

I want to live the rest of my life as optimally as possible. I don’t want to be blessed to live into old age only to be sickly and unable to enjoy life. I’ve witnessed several family members suffer from various health conditions, and I don’t want that for myself.

This is why I’m putting so much emphasis in how I’m living now by addressing my medical conditions, attending to my mental health, exercising, monitoring my food choices, and being connected with family and friends. I heard a physician say on a Youtube channel that the predictor of health as you are older is your health in middle age which is where I am now.

I think it would also be sad to live longer than family and friends, but I’m not ready to put too much thought into that now. I hope to be around to see my mom’s legacy live on through grandchildren and great-grandchildren and to pour into them with love and knowledge of where they came from.

I want to be vivacious into old age and still enjoy life. However, when God says it’s time for me to go home, whenever that is, I want to go gracefully, knowing I have lived a full and complete life here on earth.

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Bloganuary V.7 – Different Communication

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What could you do differently?

Something that I’m going to be really intentional about is being more patient with my husband, Bryan. It’s a blessing that we’ve been married for 26 years. We’re a young, old couple whose love has grown into this intricately woven beautiful pattern.

Like old couples, we know each other well, including knowing how to push buttons that annoy each other. When you know each other so well, sometimes you take for granted checking for understanding. Sometimes, you forget that you are different people. Sometimes, you forget that people change before your eyes.

With that said, one thing I will do differently in exercising patience is pause before responding to Bryan to make sure I’m reading into what he’s really saying. He’s not always direct. This little pause before I respond will be different, but I think it will be hugely beneficial. I may report back on this experiment a few months from now.

Any old married couples out there who can relate?

Me & my babe at a friend’s house in Houston New Year’s weekend 2023.
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Bloganuary V.5 – Thoughts

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Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

This question is not as easy as I initially thought, but I am going to choose that I tend to spend more time thinking about the future because I struggle with anxiety. Anxiety is about worrying about the future.

I think I was taught how to worry because my mom was a worrier. She also experienced significant trauma in her life, especially when she was pregnant with me.

I consider myself to be a high functioning, anxiety prone person. I work on relieving my anxiety through exercise, meditation, mindfulness, and therapy, to name a few activities.

I’m constantly aware of my thoughts, and it’s an ongoing process to manage. I’ve also learned that we all have many thoughts that pop up that we don’t control, and each negative thought doesn’t mean something bad or even that it has to be dealt with. The brain does its thing in this regard, and I am also mindful of my internal dialogue.