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Intention for this week V.5

Last week, I finally had a medical procedure that was scheduled over a month ago. I’ve never had a lumbar puncture before, but it was necessary in order to gather more evidence on a possible diagnosis. I won’t go into what the diagnosis may be in this post. I will say that the procedure went smoothly and I was impressed with how well the staff took care of me.

Unfiltered selfie before they rolled me away for the procedure on 3/16/2023

My husband, Bryan, accompanied me because I couldn’t drive home. I was put under mild sedation and local anesthesia. I was aware of what was going on. The radiologist inserted a needle in my spine, in the lower back area, to extract a small sample of spinal fluid. I was very surprised by how clear the spinal fluid was – it was as clear as water.

I made peace with this health condition last month. I had an MRI done at the end of January, and a week later, the doctor called me to tell me the findings. I was initially stunned, but I had been having some long-standing health symptoms that I put on the back burner of my mind for years except for the stuttering I acquired after the hysterectomy last January. I’ve researched the condition to the NTH degree all of February and some of March. It was the stuttering that reopened this door, although I’ve never stuttered prior to the hysterectomy.

I stayed in bed the rest of the day following the procedure….Bryan made sure of it. He lay in the rocking chair watching me nap and, at times, napping himself. I even called in from work the next day also to take in more rest, so I had nice a long weekend. My back has been sore but manageable.

On Saturday morning, I wanted to participate in the neighborhood garage sale, so I prepped my little spider plant babies I had been nursing for 6+ months. I was also selling some of my cute clothes and shoes.

My spider babies getting ready for a new home. I sold the red cardinals but still have the squirrels. They will make great gifts.

On Sunday, I took some of my homemade chicken noodle soup, garlic bread, and chocolate chip cookies to a sick coworker who lives near me. I also gave her a spider baby.

It is true that giving to others is a gift to yourself because it allows you to take the focus off of you and your problems. It fills you up with joy. Whatever happens, I’ll be ok for many reasons, including a supportive husband and family and quality healthcare.

Intention for the week ahead: May I not take things personally. May I not act defensively. May I be present in the moment more often than not. May I be patient and kind. May I remember who I am in the heat of moments that try to test me. May I indulge in a bubble bath or two. 
A little posing after church on Sunday, 3/19/2023
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Intention for this week V.4

Something happened at the end of last week where I wasn’t as stressed as in previous weeks, but it was just as hectic. I believe I settled into something. I saw things objectively. I finally detached and let it go. It was like I was a fly on a wall. I was even able to laugh at the lunacy of my day.

We’ve had some organizational shifts at work and I was anxious about the changes. However, Tuesday of last week, I honestly expressed my concerns during a meeting, and at that moment, I realized I might be able to leverage the changes for my benefit. A sigh of release washed over me. I got my mind right!

I know I’m being vague about the situation but I hope you can sift out the nuggets – let go of things you can’t control, be honest, and be yourself. In the big scheme of things, few things matter in life. Who knows??? In two days, I might feel differently, but I embrace the freedom I feel today.

Intention for the week: May I detach from things that are not my concern. May I not make decisions on emotion. May I tap into my well of knowledge, experience, and wisdom as often as possible. May I give praise where praise is due. May I rest when rest is due. And may I express love freely.
Bryan snapped this photo of me with one of many sleek Corvettes celebrating Black History Month in February.
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Intention for this week V.3

The busy season at my work involves the state’s legislative session and I’ve been a busy bee 🐝 lately. The busy season at home is near as we get closer to our daughter’s (senior in high school) graduation and making college selections. While corralling the people at work and home to be on the same page, in their respective worlds, it’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of it all, at least for me.

I managed to accomplish a whole lot last week. I’ve noticed it’s easy to focus on how much more you can do when you’re on that achievement “HIGH”. It’s not necessarily a healthy place to be because I’m not taking time to appreciate what I’ve accomplished and simply be in the moment. I’m just pushing myself to do more.

Over the weekend as I tended to my many plants (read my post Flourish Part I), I noticed it was a brilliant idea for me to invest time, money, and energy into these beautiful living things because caring for them allows me to slow down, notice, and appreciate.

I thought this was Christmas cactus. I rescued this plant from the garden center about a year ago & placed her on my bookshelf in the living room. She had very slow growth then seemed to stop growing altogether but she also wasn’t dying either…just maintaining. I moved her to a window over the Christmas break & BAM! She blessed me with this gorgeous bloom over the weekend. I don’t think she’s a Christmas cactus.

This past weekend, I returned a call to a dear friend and enjoyed catching up with her. We had such a great conversation that turned into us pulling out our yearbooks and discussing old classmates. I shared some news that I’m having a medical exam soon to determine a diagnosis (I may blog about it later) and she reminded me that I’m resilient. I so needed that reminder.

My intention for this week: May I insert minibreaks into my day to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the beauty in my surroundings. May I celebrate the small wins. May I allow myself compassion for when things really suck (because sometimes they do). May I celebrate others who I appreciate. May I dig into my deep well of resilience in moments of weariness. May I dance for the sheer enjoyment.
Found this photo from a few years back after a dance session in our old garage. Dance is my favorite exercise.
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Progress not perfection

Just like that, January is over, and here we are in February. I want to recount the positive things in real time as much as possible because time is flying. As I reflect on my vision board, I indicated that I would “write away” and I did just that by participating in January’s Bloganuary challenge….31 days of blog posts, each day a different topic.

A snapsot of my vision board. For more, check out my post What I want to achieve this year?

It was my first year participating, and I learned I enjoy blogging first thing in the morning after my spiritual meditation practice. I’ve wanted to post daily, but I haven’t been able to keep up with it. Well, I’ve read it takes 21 days to develop a habit and it worked for me. I missed about 3 or 4 days, but this is by far the most I’ve blogged in a month. I probably haven’t blogged 30 times in some years, so I’m off to a great start.

What I enjoyed about the Bloganuary experience were the different blogging prompts, which seemed random, at least to me. It challenged me to blog about topics I previously would not have. I even wrote a short (very short) story. It allowed me to reminisce about pleasant experiences. It reminded me of books and authors that have inspired me to read and write. Finally, I enjoyed the comradery with fellow bloggers.

Other notable January milestones are that I’ve been in remission from breast cancer for 6 WHOLE YEARS. It’s also been one year since my full hysterectomy. I truly believe health is wealth. I strive to keep my physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and financial health in check every day, although sometimes it’s difficult.

I love starting my year off with a challenge because it boosts my sense of accomplishment. February reminds me of love, so I plan to focus on the people I love this month, including myself. My son turns 22 this year, so we will be celebrating. I’m also considering participating in a vegan challenge. I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers to February!🥂

What are you looking forward to this month?

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End of an era

This, my friends, is the end of an era. The year 2022 marks the last full year of me being in my forties. In 2023, I will officially turn fifty and I’ve been preparing for it.

I’m optimistic about living my best life in my fifties. Sometimes, you need to evaluate the past to put yourself on the path to a better future. For work, at the close of some projects, we facilitate a “lessons learned” debriefing to discuss the activities of the project such as what worked and what didn’t work.

Similarly, I’ve been reflecting on my forties, and based on light lessons I’ve learned, there were thoughts, actions, beliefs, etc., that served me well during that time and some that did not. I’ve been facilitating a personal debriefing in order to set myself up for a healthy and prosperous decade in my fifties.

My current forty nine year old self has thought about some nuggets of wisdom I’d tell my forty year old self if I could go back in time. They are in no particular order, though I think the first one set the tone for my thirties and early forties. See if you can relate to any of these.

  1. You’ve proved you can accomplish things many people could not. You don’t need to prove you are worthy. God made you worthy. In fact, you don’t need to prove anything else to anyone.
  2. You are great. Own it.
  3. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Practice self-compassion daily.
  4. You were right about certain people and situations. Don’t feel bad for your accurate perception.
  5. You’re a good parent. You’re a positive example for your kids.Your kids are kind and good people. They are resilient. They have aspirations of their own for a better life.
  6. Your kids will be going through different phases, so your parenting style will need to adjust accordingly. Though it can be frustrating, painful, and sad for you sometimes, you will experience the joy of watching their unique characteristics unfold.
  7. Don’t work to the point of becoming numb because then you won’t have much left for yourself and family.
  8. You’re going to have major health challenges, and the exercising and eating you are doing right now will serve you well for your physical, mental, and emotional health.
  9. Your mummy will pass away soon, and you will keep her close by exemplifying the positive things she taught you, sharing with others, and passing them on to your kids.
  10. Grieving is not just for loved ones who are deceased, but you will also grieve some relationships, phases of your marriage, phases of your kids’ development, and things that no longer serve you.
  11. Life will get harder at certain points, but you are resilient. You will get through it.
  12. Get a handle on your spending so you can save more for the future and have more money for fun experiences.
  13. Don’t be so agreeable.
  14. Pay attention and care for the people who do so for you. Don’t be consumed about the few people who don’t show up for you consistently or at all.
  15. Instead of asking God to “use you” and subsequently burn yourself out, ask God to place you in healthy environments where you can grow and make positive impacts.
  16. Being a workaholic is toxic.
  17. Travel more, locally and beyond.
  18. You will travel a lot in Texas, meet many people, and learn more about Texas than you know about your home state of Illinois.
  19. Despite political affiliation, people are people.
  20. Stay ready because opportunities are coming.
  21. You have more control than you think.
  22. Speak up more on things that are unacceptable.
  23. Sometimes, people don’t understand you, and that doesn’t make you wrong.
  24. Seek a therapist sooner rather than later.
  25. You are beautiful inside and out. You always have been, and you will continue to be.

For the milestone years like forty and fifty, I notice many women on social media want to show they are their sexiest and most beautiful selves. I may have subscribed to that a bit when I approached forty, but I have different plans for my fifties, not to throw shade on anyone.

In my fifties, I plan to continue evolving into the best version of myself spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I want to be an all-around better human. It’s true – the older and wiser you get, the less you care about what others think, and you get more comfortable in your own skin. I want more of this too.