Y’all!!! It’s been a pretty interesting season in my life, and yet again, I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon. What amazes me is I’ve still gotten new followers to my blog site despite my erratic posting schedule the last couple of months. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read any of my posts. Today, I declare I’m BACK!
I can hardly believe I’ve maintained this blog for almost 5 years! I don’t know where the time has gone! Blogging is one of my most critical self-care outlets and I will always return to it. I’ve blogged on many topics so if you have time, feel free to peruse my site. You may notice my writing style has shifted over the years. I may unpack that in another post.
While I have a few minutes before work, I will briefly share some of what I’ve been up to.
Home: This Saturday will be 4 weeks living in our brand new home. We’ve settled in nicely. I still want to pinch myself for disbelief we get to live in this beautiful place. The cover photo is of me with the gift from our real estate agent and his team. I was still recovering from #2 below. The honeymoon is over though (slight exaggeration😁) and I’ll tell you why in a different post. Last month, I promised more posts on our home building process and that’s still coming.
COVID-19 Vaccine: My husband, Bryan and I, received both Moderna vaccines. The first and second doses were one month apart. We’re relieved we took care of this. I was down for almost 5 days with side effects from the second dose. We’re both much better now.
Therapy: I started this blog because of my desire to help others focus on self-care, and in the process, blogging has become critical to my self-care. I believe therapy is a self-care tool. It’s also an investment in myself. I realized now is the best time for someone to help me sort through some things I’ve been struggling with in my professional and personal life. And I’ve honestly been struggling for years. It’s been 2 weeks thus far and one of the best decisions I’ve made. There will be more posts on this in the future.
There will be more to come from me. I may be shaking things up with my blog format and name. In the mean time, thank you for being on this jouney with me.
On this last Monday of January 2021, the first day of my work week, these three words have been ringing in my ears for weeks: “DO HARD THINGS”. I know it’s easy to do “familiar things” and “comfortable things” but what about “hard things”? Well, silly rabbit (nod to the Twix cereal commercial from back in the day), there’s a reason why doing hard things is hard, but there are also benefits.
A couple of months ago, I received notice I was asked to present on one of the programs I oversee at a stakeholder meeting in the last week of January…this week. Nothing unusual here. This was a task I could delegate because despite the fact that public speaking on occasion is part of my job, I do not enjoy it. I’m mostly an introvert who likes to be behind the scenes. However, I’m strong in representing my programs so when duty calls, I often perform.
There are people on my team who don’t like public speaking more than me. I decided I would do the presentation with backup. As I was reviewing the presentation content with my backup, in our discussion, I literally said ” it’s because I do hard things”. I don’t remember the exact thought that led me to say that, but she agreed, with relief. Otherwise, she would be the speaker for the presentation.
Some may look at me and think it’s not difficult for me to do public speaking because I do it well, but OH CONTRARE. I’ve learned long ago if I wanted success (as I saw it because success is subjective), then I couldn’t stay stagnate, where I was, without trying. Doing hard things doesn’t mean it gets easier over time either. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it’s hard every single time.
Every time I’ve done the exercise DVD in the cover photo, it was hard. In all realness, I haven’t done that DVD in a few months, but when I was doing it a couple times a week, I did it because I wanted the benefits of a stronger body. About a month ago, in my blog post “Shaking Things Up in 2020”, I wrote about my experiment with changing my exercise routine because I felt my routine was stagnate. For a while, I’ve gravitated towards “familiar” and “comfortable” exercises, but I was getting bored and no longer seeing results like I had previously.
As you embark on this new week whether it be the start of your work week, school week, or whatever, think about what hard things you will tackle. The hard things may lead you to what you’re looking for or need.
I “do hard things”…things outside my comfort zone (such as public speaking) because I want to increase my strength mentally, physically, and spiritually. My return on investment is much greater than if I decide to stay mediocre or stagnate.
If you want to excel in any area, “do hard things”. Your hard things may not be hard for someone else but that’s not the point. They have to be hard things for you and no one can tell you what that is but you.
What hard things will you be tackling this week or year for that matter?
January is the month for setting the stage for the new year. It’s the month to decide on new habits and habits to let go. I selected the word “decide” because it is a simple decision when the emotion is taken out of it. I’ve identified some things I’m going to be intentional about in 2021 (you can read about here: Tops things I’m letting go of in 2021). I’ve listed my goals in one of my phone apps and am still working on my vision board (completion by the end of January). I’ve identified some pictures and decorations for my vision board. I just need to put everything together.
Every January, Pastor Randy Phillips from my church LifeAustin (https://life.family/) challenges us to set the tone for the new year by fasting for 21 days. I’m not going to go in depth on the principles, but fasting, (i.e., giving up something you love for a set period of time) allows you to focus what God has done in your life and what you want God to do in your life. Abstaining from a thing, especially when you want it or are used to having it, causes you to reflect on why you’re sacrificing the thing. This is the simplest way I can explain it.
Truth be told, I’ve had a love/dislike relationship with social media for years. I love I am in contact with family and friends from all over the world. I likely would not know what some of them were up to if it weren’t for Facebook. I love seeing their updates. I love being creative with my page and posting what I want. I love sharing inspiring messages and pictures of myself and family. I love seeing inspiring messages, pictures, and comments. I love accessing all of my favorite magazines and following sites that interest and inspire me.
I dislike being exposed to hateful and thoughtless comments. I dislike not being able to control what comes across my newsfeed until I “unfriend” or “unfollow” the offender. I dislike the constant advertisements. I dislike the strong potential for comparing your life to someone else’s newsfeeds. I dislike certain posts which are triggering for me. I dislike messages of wanting more, being more, and doing more. If you’re like me…attempting to be content in this life, then social media can be a difficult place to be.
A few months ago, after about 11 years on Facebook, I decided to join Instagram which I still haven’t fully learned how to use. I’ve said numerous times I could only handle one social media account at a time because it can be all consuming. However, once I learned my teenage daughter had an Instagram account, I had a nagging need to join so I could keep tabs on her. It turns out that she doesn’t post that often, but still.
What I discovered, to my surprise, is that just about everybody I know on Facebook also has an Instagram account. Go figure! There are only a couple of friends/family I know on Instagram who are not on Facebook, so I’m glad I can keep up with them. Overall, Instagram is not that triggering for me like Facebook. But then again, I gravitate to Facebook more since I’m used to it.
While Pastor Randy was stating possible ideas of what to fast, a light bulb hit me when he mentioned social media. I had been annoyed by some posts lately, anyway. So, I decided to fast social media for one day a week through January. I’m also fasting meat consumption for one day a week. This is my second week.
The fast evolved to abstaining from social media five days last week instead of just one. I was encouraged after the first day to see how long I could go. I started on Monday thinking I would set a positive tone for my week. Another parameter I set for my fast was social media specifically refers to my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I’m not sure if my blogging site is considered social media, but I didn’t include WordPress or YouTube.
Some initial observations on the first day are: *Scrolling on social media is a habit. *Scrolling is a mindless activity for my hands. *Scrolling is a mind numbing activity that can suck hours from my day.
It was on the second day I abstained from opening the app at all. I thought I would have to uninstall the app from my phone for lack of self-control, but no need when I became conscious of my actions. Another observation was fasting from more than one thing at the same time/on the same day was too much for me. On day one, I prepared my lunch as usual and included meat out of habit. I decided to change my meat fast to Wednesday. I just realized I forgot to meat fast this past Wednesday so I’ll change it to Friday. Oh well. I’ll give myself some grace. In life, you’ve got to be flexible.
Update: My fasting also includes daily prayer and bible reading.
I’m believing God for a lot of positive things in my life this year. This makes me look forward to 2021 and all the possibilities.
What are your thoughts about social media? How does social media impact your life?
Happy New Year all! One thing that’s not changing in 2021 is my love for cooking. It’s day 10, a Sunday, and here’s a TWIST… at 8:00 p.m., I made a grilled cheese sandwich with dill pickles for dinner. Sunday is the day where I usually put forth effort to make something a little more extravagant. I almost didn’t make the grilled cheese sandwich. I ended up seasoning my 2 bone-in chicken breasts a little later than intended because I’d spent hours packing. Yes, you read that correctly. We’re moving into our new home in a couple of months and I don’t want to wait until the last minute. I was on the fence about what to make with the chicken breasts anyway – chicken tortilla soup, a pasta dish, chicken and rice, or chicken pot pie. I can use each breasts for a different dish.
We had a wonderful Christmas at our household. In my post Fall Food Chronicles 2020 , I indicated that I would be making rib roast for the first time at Christmas. When I think of Christmas dinner, I think people tend to make something special. Well, I was NOT feeling that rib roast and it was probably the most special meat I had in the freezer, so I changed my mind. Chicken enchiladas, shrimp fajitas, and black beans sounded like a winner to me.
On Christmas day, my niece on my husband’s side visited us from her Air Force base in San Antonio, Texas. She didn’t want to be alone for the holidays so she joined us in Austin. She loved my enchiladas. I was especially pleased since I rarely make them.
My husband bought a huge tub of pre-sliced vegetables from the grocery store. I don’t normally buy pre-sliced vegetables because it’s much cheaper to buy the produce and slice it yourself. However, one thing I’ve learned in 2020 is to give myself a break. Those pre-sliced vegetables made my life easier on Christmas.
My son, Caleb’s, comment after he confirmed the food was delicious: “Why did you make so much black beans?” I don’t know. I got excited I guess. They were so good. One of my goals for 2021 is to reduce my cooking portions. I have a heavy hand. I inherited that from my mom. You can read about some other goals I’m working on in 2021 here: Tops things I’m letting go of in 2021.
One thing I’m getting better at is repurposing leftovers. I’m proud that my daughter and I ate up that big ole pot of black beans because I hate to waste food.
It’s an American southern tradition to eat black eyed peas on New Year’s day for good luck. There is also a Haitian tradition to make soup joumou on January 1 as this day is also Haiti’s Independence Day from France. On the Haitian American sites I follow on social media, I could see many Haitians were preparing to make this soup. The main ingredient is pumpkin or a vegetable in the squash family. A few years ago, when my mom was still alive, I asked her if she had ever made soup joumou. I don’t recall her making it growing up. My mom didn’t know about the soup which I thought was interesting. I shared some leftovers I made with my mom and she didn’t like it. I think my aunt on my father’s side made a version of this soup. One day, I will ask her. Whatever the case, I decided to go with the black eyed peas instead. They were delicious.
After watching a few YouTube videos, I felt confident about making the Prime Rib Roast. I think I called it Chuck Rib Roast in my Fall Food Chronicles 2020 post. For my first time, it came out pretty good. I’m so glad we had a fairly small piece because it turned out to be a lot. Would I make it again? I can wait until next Christmas, maybe.
My husband loves to buy me gadgets. One day I will write a blog post of them all to share. I used the mandolin he bought me for the first time to make potatoes au gratin with our Prime Rib Roast dinner and my life changed. Why has it taken me so long to use that thing?
New Year’s dinner was special indeed. My plans for food in 2021 are to make new recipes, create new recipes, eat simply, eat more plant based, and foster a healthy relationship with food. What about you? What are you cooking up this week?
What a year…though 2020 has not been a miserable year for my household. We received closure on some very important financial matters that had been looming for years. My small family of four spent more countless hours together in 9 months than we ever have. It’s been mostly enjoyable and comforting. In an unprecedented move, the state agency I work for sent thousands of employees home with laptops in March. I love the experience of teleworking. In April I took the COVID-19 test and the results came back negative. It turns out I came down with a very bad case of bronchitis. You can read about experience in my most read posts of 2020: COVID-19 Chronicles: I took the test and COVID-19 Chronicles: Test results are in. In August, we signed papers sealing the deal to build our new home which is an experience we’re having for the 2nd time in our lives. The plan is for this house to be our retirement home. I’ve written about these experiences all year. Thank you for being there with me as I navigated 2020. If you haven’t been there, WELL, you’ve got some catching up to do on my posts.
2020 has revealed some very ugly and unfathomable views and actions of people in America. From my perspective in my 47 years of life, this is the most politically divisive I’ve seen the country. People have gone so far as to ascribe God to a political party as if God is American and takes sides. I generally tend to avoid politics on my blog, but 2020 has shown me anything goes. I still won’t dwell on it in this post. The deaths of people who are black at the hands of law enforcement caused thousands of people (around the world) in sheer FED-UP-NESS to protest, mostly peacefully, during a PANDEMIC. Thankfully, normal, every day people are able to capture the atrocities on their cell phones; otherwise, how would we know and how would we know people are being held accountable? I’m too young to have grown up in the Jim Crow and Civil Rights eras. While attending my all black high school in Chicago, we learned about civil rights and the works of many notable people who are black during the movement such has Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and many others. I’ve seen countless video footage of speeches and protests. 2020 was eerily similar, which begs the question: how far has this country really gotten?
I feel a great deal of sorrow for all the lives lost and for those suffering. Heroes also emerged in 2020, particularly in the healthcare industry. The grocery, restaurant, and delivery workers also came through for all of us. I know people are ready to put 2020 behind them and move forward. I think it’s healthy in times of uncertainty and global unrest to shrink into your corner of the world…to the things you have more control over. For 2021, I think instead of “goals” and definitely not “resolutions”, I want to use the term “manifest” to describe what I envision for my life. I might change it but it sounds good to me for right now. I’ve been looking ahead to 2021 for a few months now and thinking about what I want to manifest. Some of it is already in process. I find that when I’m thoughtful about what I want to manifest and go as far as to capture it on a Vision Board, it’s more likely to happen. There maybe some research to support this, but I’ll save for another time.
If you have never put a Vision Board together, I think you will find that it will help divert your attention from the sorrow in the world to something that will actually be beneficial to you. Creative activities tend to have that effect. It’s also a great tool to keep you accountable and focused. It takes some planning to create a Vision Board though, so if you’re considering it, I hope you’re up for it.
You’ll need to ask yourself some practical questions and make several decisions on the following such as:
What are your goals or what do you hope to manifest?
What will you use for the board (poster board, cardboard, etc.)?
Where will you get the pictures (old magazines, newspapers, online pictures, etc.)?
Do I have enough supplies (scissors, glue, tape, poster board, glitter, etc.) and where will I get them?
When will I work on my Vision Board and when do I want to complete it?
I created 2020’s Vision Board in January 2020. I purchased most of the supplies from the Dollar Tree, Hobby Lobby, and I used old magazines for the pictures. Of course at the time, I had no clue how 2020 would materialize. Several times throughout the year, I did review my Vision Board and contemplated progress. I even wrote blog posts about my financial progress which you can read about here: 2020 Personal Finance: You can dig yourself out of a hole and Financial Goals 2020 UPDATE. In 2020, I was most successful in accomplishing financial goals. I also kept up with my exercise goals and cooked/ate healthy most of the time. There are a couple of pictures of women who signified that I would put more thought into my wardrobe selections for a more polished appearance…not that I struggled with that previously. I accomplished this goal also.
There were some things I didn’t accomplish, one of which was travel. You probably can’t tell because of the lighting, but there are two pictures of tropical beaches. My plan was for my family to vacation on a Caribbean Island somewhere. The pandemic threw that dream out the window…at least for 2020. Also, there is a phrase “care more, stress less”. I did demonstrate caring more in 2020 by donating finances to different causes I don’t normally contribute to. This was not planned or reflected in my Vision Board but 2020 inspired me to help more people when I could. However, I still need to seriously develop a plan for managing stress. In my last post, Tops things I’m letting go of in 2021, I shared some of the areas where I struggle regarding stress.
I asked my husband, Bryan, to buy a poster board for me while he was at Walmart, so I have that. I’ll probably start on my 2021 Vision Board in the next week. I’m still asking myself what I want to manifest.
I’d love to know if you plan on creating a Vision Board if you haven’t already. I know some people start early. What do you most appreciate about the experience? What goals did you accomplish in 2020?
Be proud of yourselves folks. We made it to 2021! Making it through 2020 means you can overcome anything. Well, in Texas, we still have a few minutes, but I’m counting it early. I was trying to explain to someone this morning that 2020 felt like it flew by rather quickly, yet was excruciatingly long at the same time. How could that be?
How could a year that was traumatic for so many people worldwide, be one of the best years of my life? Only God knows. There is not much I control in this world. What I can control are goals I set for myself and my attitude. Every year, I strive to be better and grow, which entails taking inventory of my life. I came up with a short list of things I’m letting go of in 2021 and I’m sharing with you. I hope my list inspires you to let go of some things no longer serving you too.
I was introduced to the book the “Bait of Satan” through my Life Group in the fall of 2020. A Life Group is comprised of a small group of couples from our church who gather for several weeks to study a lesson together. The book really opened my eyes to offense, how it manifests, and destroys relationships. The concepts are totally counterintuitive to how most people (i.e., Christians), including myself, think. This is a must read, especially if you are a Christian.
I will forgive people immediately, whether they are aware or not, and move on.
On my 2020 Vision Board, I glued the phrase “Care more, stress less”. I’ve been practicing not caring too much about what people think of me for years now. I need to work on the stress less.
I need to stop stressing over my work “to do” list. I put in ample hours. It’s a never-ending list. I will put in my daily hours and then cut it off.
I need to stop caring so much about my family having a homecooked meal every day or leftovers of a homecooked meal. I live with two teenagers and a husband who loves fast food. They don’t care.
I will instead cook smaller portions of mostly healthy meals I want to eat.
Bad sleep habits
I will not slouch around until 10:30 pm to get ready for bed.
I need to be ready for bed by 9:30 pm during the work week. Period. “Being ready” means I will have taken a shower, my pajamas are on, and I’ll have a book in hand and am in the bed by 9:30 pm…no phone or laptop.
Getting enough sleep is a cure for just about everything.
It doesn’t happen often as I’m usually very confident, EXCEPT in situations where I’m with people who I PERCEIVE are very knowledgeable. I’m surrounded by smart people on a daily basis, but it’s certain people. Time to unpack that and let it go.
Also, no more second guessing or doubting myself.
The physical weight that causes me to be overweight and puts me at higher risk for certain diseases.
The mental weight of perfectionism.
The mental weight of anxiety.
The mental weight of things I can’t control.
I’m developing a plan to be much lighter.
For not being the parent I think I should.
For not being the wife I think I should.
For not being the sister, aunt, friend, cousin, etc….I think I should.
For not doing everything everybody else thinks I should.
For taking time for myself.
I will work on more positive affirmations and self-talk and acceptance.
I’ll follow up with a post on my vision for 2021. What are you letting go of in 2021?
Cheers to another year full of opportunities, the unknown, joy, peace, blessings, and light lessons!
Just because 2020 is coming to a close doesn’t mean it’s too late to shake things up in your life and try new things. Every new year, I position myself for growing and conquering new things. I’m a constant learner. 2021 will be no different despite experiencing the worldwide struggles and pain in 2020. In November, I completed a 7-Day Vegan challenge and posted about it for the full 7 days. I immediately followed with a 1-week ‘no spend challenge’. You can read about the impetus for why I chose to do that in the post No spend challenge. I will likely do another ‘no spend challenge’ in January as I build up my savings.
Also in November, I decided to challenge myself by trying new exercises. I don’t mind exercising at home as I’ve done that for years (yes, prior to COVID-19) and have had results. I own a variety of exercise DVDs plus with YouTube, there are many free options for exercise. My goals have been to increase the number of calories I burn, reduce my resting heart rate, increase flexibility, increase my daily steps, tone my muscles, and increase muscle mass.
Since teleworking, I’ve really been enjoying YouTube. I subscribe to a few exercise channels that uplift me, but I still tend to gravitate toward the same types of exercises. My favorite is anything cardio, particularly dance. I also enjoy kickboxing, free weights, and step aerobics.
I exercise 6 days a week in the mornings before work and have done so for years. I’ve said to people many times that exercise functions as my coffee because I don’t drink coffee. Exercise perks me up and helps me feel accomplished. It’s not just a habit, but exercise is an essential part of my self-care practice. I’ve exercised for years without losing loads of pounds because losing weight hasn’t been my primary goal. Being and staying fit and healthy (mind, body, and spirit) is my ultimate goal. HOWEVER, if I’m being honest with myself, I do want to tip the scale in the weight loss direction, even by as few as 10-15 pounds.
There is so much information on the best approaches for weight loss and I’ve got to tell you, many of it is conflicting. For every article I’ve read or video I’ve seen about managing food (portions and types) as the most effective component to weight loss, there are articles/videos indicating exercise is the key. For every point of view that indicates eat less and move more, there are points of view that indicate it’s all rubbish. What about hormones? This is a strong consideration especially for women over 40 like me (I’m actually closer to 50).
What I find the most confusing is that ‘they’ claim science and research is behind it all. Though I spend a lot of time reading about nutrition and fitness, I’m not claiming to be a nutritionist or exercise coach, so you can take my advice with a grain of salt. What I do think is that people need to educate themselves and learn what gets them the results they are looking for. In this post, I’m sharing my approach on determining what works best for me.
Earlier in 2020, I found Kukuwa Fitness on Youtube and I instantly fell in love. Every time I did their African dance routines, I was smiling and motivated. It also provided me with a lot of steps which helps me reach my daily step goal. My challenge in November excluded doing my normal routines whether from my video library (except for those I hadn’t done in at least a year), Zumba Fitness, or YouTube. This meant I had to put Kukuwa Fitness on hold because it became part of my routine though I only started with them in early 2020.
For this challenge, I wanted to try exercises I had never done before mixed in with different versions of weight training and cardio. So for two weeks I tried new fitness routines.
I’ve never been flexible, but I notice I’m even less flexible as I’ve gotten older. Part of a healthy fitness regimen is to stretch the muscles and allow time for recovery. I used to incorporate Yoga into my weekly routines, but I’ve relaxed that over the years because I’ve gotten addicted to high intensity dance and cardio. I appreciated the lengthening moves in Barre. My body needed that. YouTube was my first introduction to Barre.
I enjoy strength training with free weights. I even dance with very light dumbbells at least once a week. The routine in the picture worked muscles from different angles which I appreciated. What I noticed with weight training is that I don’t get many steps. I think this is another reason why I favor certain routines – I can clock in more steps with dancing or fast walking rather than being mostly stationary with heavier weights. My Fitbit has been successful at ingraining in me the need to get my daily step goal. I need to figure out a balance because weight training requires proper form and technique. It’s not about getting the steps in. Perhaps on weight training days, I will also walk to get the steps.
Dance is my all time FAVORITE exercise and even with the variety of dance I do, there is the risk of repeatedly doing the same moves. Different moves challenge muscles in different ways. Though I’m very familiar with Latin dance as a previous Zumba Fitness instructor, every instructor has their own style and flavor. This routine was fun and effective in keeping my heart rate high and providing ample steps. Did I mention how much I love Pop Sugar Fitness on YouTube? They have a library of many types of exercises and variations.
I first came across Xtreme Hip Hop on my Facebook page. Back when step aerobics was popular (maybe late 1990s and early 2000s), I loved it. I was excited to see someone bringing back step aerobics with a new flavor. For Christmas 2019, my husband, Bryan, bought me a new step bench because I had gotten rid of mine years ago. I had talked about wanting to get into step aerobics again. Despite watching for months, November 2020 was my 1st time trying Phil’s routine on YouTube. It was fun and effective at keeping my heart rate high and providing lots of steps.
Walking is a great exercise for getting in steps. I also find walking is great as a recovery exercise. From the spring through early fall here in Austin, Texas, Bryan and I enjoy long walks and hikes on different trails several times a week. Once the weather hits below 70 degrees, such as now, I don’t like to walk outside because I’m sensitive to cold air.
I recently found a new walking platform on YouTube which helps me complete my daily step goals. I’ve added these walking routines at the end of the day. Even though I exercise in the morning, I’m still not able to get all my steps in by the evening, especially when I’m in meetings all day. A 15-20 minute walking routine in my living room led by Rick helps me accomplish my step goal.
What I’ve presented in this post are just a few of the new routines I tried. I learned the body gets very comfortable with the same old routines. It’s up to me and you to shake things up to get the most benefit from exercise, to increase fitness, and challenge the body. I have many other goals with fitness besides just losing weight.
I found that this challenge inspired me to continue to try new exercises although there are definitely some I don’t like or prefer. It’s about balance and doing routines that will keep you motivated and delivering the results you’re looking for. I hope this post inspired you to be more thoughtful about exercise and try new routines. Keep moving!
It’s been long overdo, but I decided to see first hand what it feels like to not spend money for one week in an attempt to curb my spending addiction. You can read about the impetus for the challenge here : No spend challenge.
Not many people would probably admit publicly they spend too much money, especially if they do it to impress others and are living above their means. I’ll be the one to raise my hand admitting I spend more than I’d like to with the hope that it inspires others to take a closer look at their behaviors and how it affects their financial outlook, and life for that matter. For those that think this challenge should be easy or it’s not a challenge at all, more power to you. I challenge you to determine if anything I describe in this post resonates with you and then do something about it.
The most glaring thing I noticed from this exercise is how MUCH I think about buying things. It’s a natural occurrence in my head to be thinking about what to buy no matter how small the item. I attribute some of this to being the primary household shopper for my household. Therefore, I’m keenly aware of our household supply and when we need to restock (i.e., eggs, toilet paper, laundry detergent).
I plan the budget, input the numbers on a spreadsheet, track inventory of our supplies, type the grocery and household lists, and make the purchases. I’m constantly searching for the best deals by examining the ads from my favorite stores and timing my purchases appropriately based on sales. It’s a deliberate process that requires detail and attention in an effort to maximize our budget.
Many external forces also contribute to constantly thinking about buying. CONSUMERISM. These forces can be subliminal or overt. Keep in mind we live in a capitalist society here in the U.S. Take a look to see if you can relate to any of the items in the following list. I might be missing some.
People on social media
Ads on social media
General internet ads (ads embedded in internet articles)
Emails from your favorite stores
Texts from your favorite stores
Smart phone apps
Magazines (lifestyle, travel, food, etc.)
Kids asking for stuff or to go places (fast food, “let’s go to Dollar Tree”, etc.)
Friends/family wanting you to support their business
In the first couple of days of the challenge, ideas would pop into my head of what I needed to buy and then I’d remember that I made this commitment to myself to not spend any money. I’m not going to say that by Day 6, I’m not thinking of buying anything because that’s not true. However, the act of not buying something when I want it, and knowing I can afford it, made me pause to consider how important the item really is. It made me assess needs and wants, which is the basics of budgeting and personal finance.
It’s not a foreign concept for me to substitute or make do without something because for 3 years, I was supporting our household on one income. I had no choice but to focus on our needs primarily. There was little room for wants, but not much. I tapped into my creativity in making do with what we had. Although we’re no longer in that tighter financial situation, we still have financial goals to achieve. One goal is to give more money to causes we support. We’ve done some of that this year already.
This challenge is only a week so I will spend again eventually. I honestly don’t like that thinking about buying things takes up so much space in my mind because there’s much more to life. Some of the things I’ve done to clear my mind of the bombarding messages to “BUY BUY BUY” is to avoid Youtube videos on shopping hauls. I spend a fair amount of time on YouTube and there are a lot of these types of videos. When I watch them, they give me ideas on things to buy that I don’t need. I also have unsubscribed from some email lists. I need to do the same for texts. Why do I need a text from Dressbarn and Bed Bath and Beyond? Since I also realized that some of my spending is emotional (boredom, happy, anxious), I also made a list with my husband and daughter of activities we could do that doesn’t involve spending money.
This challenge has put things in perspective. It also reminds me of how grateful I am for my loved ones, the life I get to live, and my blessings.
You read that right. My next challenge is to not spend any money for the next 7 days. You know something is going to be hard when you DON’T want to do it. I DON’T want to do it, but I need to. The challenge starts today.
It’s long overdue too. I’ve had the sneaky suspicion for the last several months that I might be addicted to spending money. I think my whole family is addicted to spending money. I complain that we should all take a break, but who am I kidding??? It starts with ME.
Now, my husband, Bryan, and I have accomplished A LOT financially in 2020 and you can read about it here: Financial Goals 2020 UPDATE. In fact, we’re in the process of having our new home built.
Making some financial strides gives me no excuse to let my guard down just cause I’m comfortable. And it’s the seemingly little purchases that can eat away at your finances. My magic number at my favorite grocery store, no matter how few items I have on my list, is $90.
I blame COVID-19 a little because remember when there was no food on the shelves??? There were plenty of vegetables, BUT no toilet paper, paper towels, milk, flour, bread, etc. Food and household items were rationed. Well, I only have to experience something like that one time for me to get on a MISSION to build a well stocked pantry and freezer. A well stocked pantry is what I have now and it spills over into the garage.
So I’m engaging in a nice dose of restraint for 7 days. It’s been painful thus far. I can probably think of at least 10 things that I could purchase today alone and then remembered the commitment I made. I told Bryan the only way I’m spending money is if it’s a medical emergency. I’m also not including line items I budgeted for in my monthly budget such as gifts. Other than that, for 7 days, I will not spend any money. I want to prove to myself I can do this and I want to break a habit. I need to continue my path of building wealth and nickel and diming myself is not going to cut it.
Mantra: I have enough. I am enough.
How about you? Have you ever done something like this before? How did you feel afterward? Please share tips and encouragement!
I made it to Day 7! As I said from Day 1, 7 days is way more digestible (pun intended) than 21. I embarked on a 21-day Vegan cleanse at the end of July and I suffered through. I think mostly because my husband, Bryan, half way participated with me but that’s another story.
The final meal on this 7 day reset was very fitting because soup is my all time favorite comfort food. The name of the soup in the cover photo is Comfort Soup and it’s topped with kale croutons. The ingredients are leeks, potato, garlic, spices and kale. I have a confession though. When I couldn’t find my nutritional yeast (provides the cheese flavor), I decided to add parmesan cheese. Yup, I did. AND it was good despite not being vegan. It was vegetarian!
So how did I do on my goals? Remember, my goals were to have less bloat, sleep better, and have clearer skin. Well, I got 1 out of 3. The timing was a bit off for this reset because I started my period this week…so much for the bloat. Also, as with most women, my hormones were all over the place due to my period and I have the zits on my chin to prove it. BUT I did get a smidgeon more sleep as the days progressed. In full transparency, it probably helped that I took a sleep aide called Z-Quil a couple of nights.
A goal I didn’t mention but ended up happening anyway was to reduce my resting heart rate. It had slowly been rising the last couple of weeks. However, I notice it cycles by increasing and then decreasing every few months. It’s never increased out of range. Since I started the reset, it’s decreased by 3 points. I read that an increase could be early warning signs of heart disease or may have something to do with low iron. Long term affects of radiation treatment can be heart problems. I had radiation as treatment for breast cancer on my left side of my chest. My oncologist also prescribed me iron pills due to anemia. I have an upcoming appointment in the next month with my oncologist so I’ll talk to him about it.
This reset was a good reminder of the importance of eating mostly a plant based diet. It’s also refreshing to make new recipes. Variety is the spice of life for me. I will continue to share my meals with you.
So what’s next? I’ve already started two new challenges simultaneously. One is to revamp my exercise routine and the other is to curb my spending. Read my next post to find out more.