Image

What 23 years of marriage looks like

Last weekend, my husband, Bryan, and I celebrated our 23 year wedding anniversary with a bang! Rather than do what we’ve normally done, which is go out to dinner, we actually stayed at a very nice, hotel in town for the weekend. It was an amazing experience. My greatest pleasure was watching Bryan ENJOY himself that weekend.

Bryan in the DREAMY restroom at the Fairmont Hotel, Austin, TX, 9/19/2020. LPC

This was a first and we both agreed that we will prioritize getting away every year from now on, even if it’s a local getaway. In fact, we’ve been thinking of an excuse for another getaway. His birthday is coming up in December. 😁

I can’t speak for all marriages, but it’s really easy to become complacent and take each other for granted. In one of our pastor’s sermons, he talked about how it’s the “little foxes” that build up, sneak up on you, and can harm your relationship. Complacency and familiarity are little foxes.

You’ve got to MAKE time to celebrate the milestones at least, but it will only enhance your relationship to acknowledge the seemingly small every day things. Life is filled with the every day things.

Since COVID-19, I’ve seen hints of people on social media complaining about being confined with their spouses and have seen (not read) articles on how to manage being in close quarters with your partner. Although 2020 has been a tragic year for many, and we still have a few months to go, it’s been a blessing for Bryan and I to spend so much time together. It’s been a blessing for our whole family.

This is not to say there aren’t frustrating times. We still bicker about insignificant stuff, but we’ve gotten better at stopping ourselves from going down a unwanted road because we’re focused on the big picture. Bryan recently adopted a strategy of saying how much he loves me when I’m annoying him. It’s effective in that it STOPS ME in my tracks.

Twenty three years is the life of a whole adult person. Bryan and I have experienced so much in that time. The best thing is that it doesn’t feel like 23 years. Our love for each other has grown exponentially. We have always enjoyed each other’s company. We respect each other tremendously. We support each other.

In 23 years, we’ve: *Moved and set up a life in Texas *Advanced our education *Increased our faith in God *Grown spiritually *Joined two different churches (at different times) *Built two houses (new house is in process) *Lived in 3 different residences *Had two beautiful children *Been hired at several organizations *Had several surgeries each *Have been diagnosed with chronic, life changing illnesses *Have been each other’s caregiver *Supported each other through the loss of close family relationships *Traveled locally to various Texas cities & visited our hometown of Chicago many times

These are just the main milestones I can think of at this time. I’ll probably add more throughout the week.

Though you didn’t ask, the best advise I will provide on marriage is to choose your partner wisely from the beginning. I realize there’s not much you can do about that if you missed this mark and are in the marriage. However, if you’re not married yet, this one is for you. Then, commit to the relationship beyond any other commitment you could ever make. That commitment will see you through a multitude of circumstances. Don’t take your partner for granted and celebrate your relationship regularly.

Complimentary champagne at the Fulton 9/20/2020. LPC
Fairmont Hotel corner suite on the 14th floor. LPC

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s