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The boss

There’s a phenomenon I’ve been experiencing at work since becoming the boss to people who were once my peers. It’s been awkward for a few, but most have embraced it. One person on my team told me she was “relieved”. That made me smile. I don’t want to narrow it down solely to haters being haters. I’m constantly self-evaluating and self-regulating to ensure I’m communicating clearly, articulating my expectations constantly, and setting people up to succeed. Despite my best efforts, some people just don’t want to get on board. I can’t please everyone and that’s not my goal.

As I’ve been evaluating what changed for a few people since I’ve become the boss when we were fine as peers, it occurred to me that it is more so the other person’s issue, but I’m fascinated by the reactions. I do empathize because I’ve experienced being passed over for a position and it hurt my ego tremendously. Notice I typed that it hurt my ego, and by that, I mean my work persona. I used that energy to clarify my career goals and make myself better. The next time an opportunity for advancement presented itself, I was not passed over. The situation may not involve competing for the same position and not being selected, but my point is that some people allow change in others to affect them in a negative way. Some become bitter and callous when a better strategy is to focus energy on determining why the other person’s change is causing them to feel insecure and then actually do something positive to repair the insecurity.

Additionally, I think when people elevate or advance, whether that be at work or in life, some people can’t take it because it causes them to question themselves and what they’re doing. It is good to question or self-evaluate, but there really is danger in comparing yourself to others. The danger is to your own self-esteem. I know most people do it, but we need to work towards breaking the habit of comparison. I go farther when I focus on competing with myself rather than others. We can’t see all the mitigating factors that put a person where they are, so we’re at a disadvantage already.

Be happy for other people when they succeed. Your time will come. Don’t be bitter. Don’t be passive aggressive. Don’t be callous. I’m not just saying that because I want people to be happy for me. I believe we all have our own paths to greatness and there’s plenty to go around. Sometimes the negative feelings/behaviors/energy occur because people feel left out or that there aren’t opportunities for them. Turn negative energy into positive energy and take advantage of opportunities to self-evaluate and change. Even if you determine that you’re ok, you may need to change your environment so that it’s a better fit for you.

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Timing 

God’s timing is interesting. He’s pretty much on time…it’s just not on MY time. In the midst dealing with my hubby, Bryan, in the hospital over the Christmas break, I received a call for a job interview taking place this Thursday for another promotion. I’ve been doing the job on a temporary basis for 6 months and now it’s time to seal the deal…and this is a BIG deal!  I’m devoting some time tonight to prepare and catch up on work before I return on Wednesday. 

On one hand, it is a relief to focus on something else besides Bryan, but most of my energy has been depleted dealing with the hospital stuff. This position is significant because it fell in my lap. I didn’t even know about it. While other people were strategizing to get ahead, someone put in a word for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I worked for it and proved I have the chops (what it takes to do the job). I still have lots to learn. It’s a privilege to do what I do. I truly believe God made all of this happen. It will significantly boost my income which is needed since Bryan will be spending some time recovering. I may write about what it’s like being the breadwinner in a future post. Tonight, I’ll go to bed a little earlier and tomorrow, get to the hospital earlier and run my errands so I can get back home early. 

My message: In the midst of turmoil, God always finds a way to let you know He’s got you. 

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Happy Birthday to me

Today, I turn 44 years old. I was talking to my 78 year old mom on the phone yesterday, reminding her of my birthday and she exclaimed repeatedly, “My BABY is turning 44!” Yup, mummy, its true…your baby turns 44 and I feel great. I love the confidence, wisdom, discernment, patience, focus, and unapologetic self-assuredness that comes with being in your 40’s. These attributes helped me nail the best job interview of my life on Monday, 5/15/17, resulting in a promotion. I’ve been floating all week. 

Sure, I see more defined frown lines on my forehead and bags under my eyes. I was just telling my hubby this week I can see I look older. I recently noticed some small lines on both sides of my mouth when I smile. After Zumba class last week, I actually questioned if I was getting too old for all the jumping because I was unusually sore the next day after giving it my all and “leaving it on the dance floor”. I later concluded that I probably should have gone to bed early instead of attending Zumba class because I was exercising on an almost empty tank after a long day. I toned down my intensity in subsequent classes. I do get the occasional aches and pains. However, I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been and even have muscle definition in my arms. I wouldn’t trade my emotional, spiritual, and mental growth to be back in my twenties where I was depressed, unhappy, insecure, and didn’t appreciate my size 8/10 shape. I admit those old insecurities still come, but I know how to manage them.

Office birthday party favors 5-19-17

This time last year, I didn’t celebrate my birthday because my husband had brain surgery…on my birthday. We visited the emergency room twice in May 2016 and had to cancel our trip to Florida. My very first post to my blog was about that whole experience which you can read about here. My hubby is doing much better. Little did we know that 4 months later, I would be diagnosed with breast cancer. At the Caribbean themed birthday party my coworkers coordinated for myself and another coworker yesterday, someone commented, “You guys have been through an ordeal!” My response was that we did get some mileage out of our health insurance plan and you better believe we met our deductible! We got a good laugh out of that. The point is life happens. You deal with it, make adjustments, and keep moving forward. I’m thankful to be alive and thriving with the ones I love. 

Today, will be a low key day with my family. I plan to get some rest because I’ve worked late all week as a result of getting acclimated to my new job which includes managing staff. Long work days will become a new normal, but I am not deviating from my self-care strategies. Exercise, eating well, reading, sleeping, writing, catching up with friends…these are all things that rejuvenate me. 

We may hit a movie and dinner later, but for the most part, I want to be around the house. I’m content because I have everything I need and am grateful to be alive. I can’t wait to see what this next year of growth has in store for me.