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Merry Christmas

I’m taking a moment to send holiday cheer into the world. For my household, Christmas is a time to celebrate Jesus’s birth and to also spend time with family, to let our loved ones know how much they mean to us, to be extra gracious and kind, and to just experience the joy of the season.

We started our day early. My 21-year old son, Caleb, who tries to play it cool with his emotions, woke us up from a deep sleep early in the morning. My husband, Bryan, later told me it was about 5:00 am. He asked if we were ready to open the gifts. We both shouted out, “No, a little later!” We knew he was excited, but we were too sleepy and soon dozed back to sleep.

When I was growing up, we opened Christmas gifts at midnight on Christmas Eve. Bryan’s family opened gifts in the morning, but sometimes they would open one gift at midnight. With our kids, we’ve mostly opened gifts first thing in the morning. I’m usually still wrapping gifts at midnight, but not this time. I had help. I asked my daughter, Elise, to wrap a few of her brother’s gifts. I had gift bags for some of the gifts and wrapped the rest. I completed my wrapping at about 8:00pm on Saturday.

Elise creatively wrapped her brother’s gifts to give him clues what they were.

I spent Christmas 2022 in my pajamas all day. My family is happy with their gifts so I’m happy. We tend to provide extra gifts to our kids since most of our families on both sides live in the Chicago, Illinois area. My heart is especially full because it’s the one time of year where I can get hugs from my kids. We’re not the most “physically expressive with our emotions” family. I’ve grown to be more of a hugger as I’ve gotten older, and as the universe would have it, my kids prefer otherwise.

Not only did Caleb gift me with a beautiful necklace, he reciprocated my hug, and told me he loved me. Elise also reciprocated my big suffocating hug. Perhaps other parents hear the “I love yous” and get hugs from their kids all the time. As my kids have gotten older, they do it much less, which makes it all the more special.

This is the first Christmas without my mother in law. I asked Bryan how he was doing and he said it’s been different. He’s been talking to his mom off and on today. He’s spent the past 2 days talking to family members. I can tell he had a great day. I’ve been communicating with family and friends through phone calls, texts, and social media. I enjoyed the connection, even if for a few minutes.

We’ve had some unusually cold weather in Texas for this time of year, so for the first time in a long time, we didn’t attend the church concert or Christmas Eve service. Thankfully, we didn’t have extreme weather like we did in February 2021, when the power went out and water stopped working for about a week for most people. Some people died which was heart breaking and incomprehensible, especially since I’ve experienced colder winters than that growing up in Chicago. I blogged about my experience in the posts Is This Texas? and Is This Texas Part Deux?

This time with the cold, we had no precipitation which makes it much more bearable. I can deal with cold, but it’s darn near life altering to deal with cold with rain, snow, or ice. It gets too dangerous to drive in the Texas terrain with drivers who do not know how to drive under those conditions. The temperatures were as low as the teens, but it has been steadily increasing. I enjoyed the nostalgia of having a colder Christmas week.

As I sit in my recliner couch typing and watching Bryan reclining on the other couch with his boozy beverage in hand, I can tell you, it’s been a SPLENDID day.

More than anything right now, I want more kindness, grace, and love for us all. It’s not cliché that life is so precious and short. One of my biggest light lessons for 2022 is instead of worrying about losses (such as in relationships, time, health, etc.), I’m paying more attention to the people who make room for me and who love me and the time and health I do have. If I don’t reach a goal as planned, I won’t stop living until the goal is achieved. I’ll continue living in the moment, appreciating where I am and knowing I’ll eventually achieve it. Sometimes, we get caught up in what’s missing rather than what’s here, right now in front of us.

With that, I say cheers to Christmas 2022 knowing that it can be an especially difficult time for many people for various reasons, including the loss of loved ones and loneliness. Give the gift of kindness, grace, and love to others and especially yourself this season and every day.

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Giving Thanks

My Thanksgiving plate: smoked turkey, green beans, macaroni and cheese, mashed sweet potatoes, dressing, mixed greens (collard, mustard, turnip), potato salad, and cranberry sauce. I made all the sides, except for the greens beans (made by our friends). My husband smoked the turkey and a pork butt. Everything was delicious!

Last week we celebrated Thanksgiving in the U.S. and I’m carrying the gratitude with me into this week. It’s true there is something to be thankful for every single day, even every moment, no matter how small. The Thanksgiving holiday reminds me to slow down and count my blessings. Thanksgiving kicks off my favorite holiday season.

Last year we drove to Chicago and spent the time with our family. That was so special because our time together is precious especially after my mom passed away. I think we all sense our time on this earth is limited and so we’re more intentional about making the time for each other. I like to say that I’ve been fueled up (with love) after those visits.

My nieces, siblings, and kids. Thanksgiving 2021
My daughter, Elise, and I Thanksgiving Day 2022

This year, we celebrated the holiday with friends. So many people have moved to Texas from other places so it’s not uncommon to not have family near. I was excited about cooking for friends. And it dawned on me this would actually be the first Thanksgiving in our new home. Being in a new home is and of itself something to be thankful for. We moved into our freshly built home about a year and 8 months ago so I’m not sure how long I can call it new. Whatever the case, since the pandemic we haven’t really had people over.

I made things easier on myself by keeping the menu simple. My husband, Bryan, decided to smoke the meats (turkey breast, turkey legs, and pork butt), which means I was responsible for cooking the sides.

The PREP

We began prepping the weekend before Thanksgiving by taking the meats out of the freezer to defrost in the fridge. On Tuesday, Bryan seasoned the pork and brined the turkey parts. I chopped up all my vegetables for each dish and put them in baggies that I labeled. I also made a big pot of liquid gold aka turkey broth. I also roasted about 10 sweet potatoes for my mashed sweet potatoes and sweet potato pies. In my grocery shopping, I purchased some time saving items like preboiled eggs, herb croutons for the dressing, and cornbread mix. And something I’ve never done for previous Thanksgivings most likely because I didn’t have the space was use my CROCK POT. I had her set up on the island.

This Ninja cooked up my greens and smoked turkey like a charm.

It was certainly a blessing to serve a bounty of food and be surrounded with loved ones and friends. Growing up in poverty, I’m reminded of how far my family has come to make a better life for ourselves and our children. What we didn’t have in financial means, we were rich in faith, hope, and love. The part of Thanksgiving that I will take with me everyday is to often show appreciation to the people who love and show up for me, to extend extra care and grace to others, to be encouraging, to demonstrate compassion to myself (first) and others, to help where I can, and to reflect more on what I do have rather than what I don’t.

What are you thankful for?

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Top 12 things 2021 had me out here doing

What a year! Like many of you, I’ve been reflecting on 2021 and my first thought is that it FLEW by so FAST. And with each month, it seemed to go faster. It’s practically a blur, but so much has happened. Also, it’s been a doozy, FOR SURE. I’ve experienced so many emotions this year from joy and excitement to pain and sorrow. This pandemic has been mind boggling and ever changing. I’ve been doing my best to keep myself and my family safe and healthy.

I know many people are ready for it to end, but I’m learning that there is no sense in rushing it because it will end eventually. I recall a colleague saying to me in 2017 that it was a rough year and she couldn’t wait for it to end. That year my mom passed away and I’m not sure what the year ending sooner would have accomplished because she’s still not here 4 years later. I’m learning that each year is intertwined with many emotions and experiences because it’s called LIFE. Before you know it, it will be gone. There is beauty all around us and we have to choose to keep our eyes on it.

To keep this post light at a time when I know many are suffering and/or want this freaking year to end, I will share the many first time experiences I’ve had in 2021. It’s amazing to me how just when you think you’ve experienced a whole lot, God let’s you know there is a whole lot more for you to learn and do. Here’s my list of 12 things, in somewhat chronological order, 2021 had me out here doing and/or experiencing:

  1. No electricity and water for days – You might have heard of SNOVID (SNOW during COVID), no??? Well, here in Texas in February of 2021, it snowed, the temps fell below 10 degrees, and the power went out. I had no idea that we would be living like it was the 1800s just because it got cold. This is ludicrous coming from a person who grew up in Chicago where it would need to be a blizzard before the city shuts down. People in Texas were literally freezing in their homes and sadly, some people died. I wrote a series of blog posts about the experience starting with Is this Texas? and then Is this Texas Part Deux?. The stockpiling I learned about earlier in the pandemic came in handy because we had plenty of food and water for drinking.
  2. Pooped in a plastic bag- This is a continuation of #1. I had to get REALLY creative once the water went out a few days after the electricity did. I think when you are in dire straights, your instincts kick in, which is the only way I can explain why I would get the idea to poop in a bag. Since there was no water to flush the toilets, this made the best sense to me. I passed this nugget on to my husband and kids. We did what we had to do, but I hope to not experience that again. I might be ready to go camping next summer though. (Is that what it’s like? I’ve never been camping.)
  3. Boiled snow- This is another continuation of #1. Again, we were being creative in the face of a dire situation. We had no running water for washing our hands, face, body, cooking, cleaning, flushing the toilet, etc. And as the freak situation would have it, when our electricity finally came back on, the water stopped. We were able to boil the snow to wash the few dishes we had and fill buckets to flush down the toilet. This experience showed me we could survive anything and we gained some survival techniques in the process. I learned to keep a supply of paper products, plastic cutlery, and aluminum pans/containers on hand because you don’t want a sink of dirty dishes when you have no water. I also believe the experience further bonded our family.
  4. Colonoscopy- Aside from the horrendous preparation for the procedure, my first actual colonoscopy went fine. Previous medical advise was for adults to get their first colonoscopy at 50 years old, but my doctor told me the guidelines have changed to 45 years old. Therefore, I was scheduled for my first colonoscopy a few months before my 48th birthday. The preparation entails taking medication that will clean your bowels completely out. It will clean you out to the point of feeling like you’re peeing from your butt. I vividly recall telling my husband I wasn’t going to make it (a little dramatic). He told me I would make it and he was right. I’ll move on now.
  5. Bought a new home and moved out of Austin- In the 20+ years of living in Texas, we’ve always lived in Austin. I never thought we would live outside of Austin, but we fell in love with our dream home, which was to be built in a small town about 10 minutes away from where we had lived for 14 years. The town of Buda is very quaint and growing very rapidly. We’re so close to Austin, we still do our shopping and other activities as we normally would. Although this is our second time having a home built, it is our first home in a single story and we absolutely love it.
  6. Bought a luxury car- A few months after we moved into our new home, wouldn’t you know our trusty Jeep Grand Cherokee stopped workingWe knew it waa coming though because we’ve had our vehicles for 10+years. Going down to one vehicle wasn’t a big deal to me because I’ve been teleworking since March 2020 so sharing a vehicle with my husband, Bryan, was fine. Plus, my son also has a car. I didn’t even get to see it one last time before it clunked out because Bryan left it at the car repair shop and arranged for the someone to take it to the junk yard. I didn’t care what our next vehicle would be, except I knew I wanted it to be an SUV. Bryan did all the research and a few months later, we brought home our beautiful preowned Audi. She rides smooth like butter and is so pretty.
  7. Wore shorts to gym class- I love Zumba fitness and from about the spring, I started attending my beautiful Z-sister’s class on a regular basis. She’s such a great instructor and exudes SEXINESS. She sometimes wears shorts and inspired me to wear shorts to class in public and I did it several times. I will devote a complete blog post to this because it taught me to accept my body. As long as I was comfortable and enjoyed my shorts, that’s what matters.
  8. Came down with pneumonia- Right after July 4th, I came down with a bad case of pneumonia, which took me out for about 2 weeks. I was tested for COVID twice during that time and tests came back negative. I’ve not been that sick since I had bronchitis for the first time in April 2020. My therapist believes it was the stress that caused it. The medical doctors don’t know why I got it. The whole experience changed my mind about returning to the office to work. I believed if the pneumonia was a taste of what it would be like to get COVID, then I needed to be extra careful. At the time, my leadership told us the staff had to work a hybrid work schedule. We’ve since been allowed to choose how we want to work and I chose to do 100% telework to minimize my exposure to the virus. Working from home has improved my quality of life immensely. This by far was one of the best decisions of 2021.
  9. Tried new foods- I’ve been on a mostly vegan/plant-based journey since June 2021. This is the longest I’ve ever done it. Considering that this is a lifestyle change, I decided to broaden my food palate, so for the first time, I made oyster mushrooms and tried some plant-based foods like beyond meat. I’ve even been eating and cooking tofu on a regular basis. All are delicious when prepared the way I like them. I changed my diet for mostly health reasons. You can read more about what I’ve learned about eating this way from this post: Vegan truths I can’t ignore
  10. Breast Cancer Awareness Walk – It’s been 5 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I don’t know why it’s taken me 5 years to actually participate in the Susan G. Komen More Than Pink Walk. And honestly, if Bryan hadn’t signed us up, I still wouldn’t have participated. It was Bryan, myself, and our 2 kids that did the walk and it was an amazing experience. I was so inspired by all the women who are trying to heal and get over this disease. It’s astounding how many people are affected. Not only did this activity bond our family, but they got to be in the company of so many other people affected by breast cancer. One of the most touching moments was me writing a note to my mom, who died from complications of a different cancer, in a booth devoted to those that passed on. I cried as a wrote the note thanking my mom for passing down her warrior genes to me.
  11. Rode in a Tesla- I’m not really into cars. I’ve always been the type of person who is practical and care more about the vehicle being dependable and a smooth ride. I mentioned in #6, Bryan picked out our new, preowned vehicle. I didn’t care too much about what it would be except I didn’t like this battery powered one we test drove earlier in the year. While in Chicago in November for my Uncle’s funeral, I stayed with my sister and my brother in law who have a Tesla. I never paid attention to Teslas even though we’ve known the headquarters and factory were moving to Austin. It definitely looks and feels like a futuristic car. It was fun to ride in.
  12. Two trips to Chicago in the same month- At the end of the summer, Bryan expressed he really wanted to see his mom and uncle since they’re getting older. He wanted us to plan a trip to Chicago for Thanksgiving. My general rule has been I don’t do Chicago when it’s cold. PERIOD. However, I was willing to go so we could see our family. Sadly, I learned my Uncle on my father’s side passed away at the beginning of November. Since he was a close part of my family, I flew solo for his funeral. That trip was a blessing in disguise because I didn’t realize how much I needed to get away from work and how much I missed my family. It was wonderful seeing them. On top of that, I got to see them again at the end of the month for Thanksgiving. It was one of the best highlights of 2021.

Enjoy the pictures!

Photo taken from my back yard during SNOVID in February 2021
Our beautiful new kitchen inside our new home. The refrigerator has since been replaced and clutter abounds.
Our new home has been a blessing! We love it!
At the More than Pink Walk, Austin, Texas, October 2021
Look at those shorts…Sweaty after a Zumbathon with this beautiful Zumba fitness instructor in August 2021
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Thanksgiving in Chicago

I feel obligated to acknowledge it’s been so long since my last blog post. What can I say??? Life is a roller coaster ride BUT I’m so thankful I have this platform to connect with others. We have plenty of time to catch up, but today I want share some Thanksgiving gratitude for making this trip to spend time with family!

View of Downtown Chicago from Lake Shore Drive on our way to the Shedd Aquarium 11/23/2021

Saturday morning, my husband, Bryan, children and I embarked on our much anticipated road trip to Chicago from Buda, Texas.

Outside of the famous Buc-ees near Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas (2 of 2 on this road trip) 11/20/2021. This store is the ULTIMATE gas station. I mostly APPRECIATE the restrooms.
Inside Buc-ees in Temple, Texas (1 of 2 on the road trip) 11/20/2021. This store was so busy & crowded. We stopped for the restroom & gas. Bryan grabbed this photo before we dashed out.

Our trip was smooth “sailing”, relaxing, and peaceful…until we stayed at a Motel 6 in West Memphis, Arkansas. We wanted to break up the 16 hour drive into 2 days. We’ve never stayed at a Motel 6 before but all the decent hotels in the area were booked. We didn’t think about the other families traveling to see their loved ones this Thanksgiving. Bryan and I needed to rest to finish the drive the next morning. With the exception of Bryan, the rest of us got very little sleep.

Though I’m very thankful we took a short reprieve because there was a lot of traffic, we hope to never stay at a dingy little hotel like this one again. The room was icky and cold, the surroundings were loud, and nothing about it was comfortable. I was so miserable and cold that I thought about waking up my family so we could leave in the middle of the night several times. At about 2:00 am, after seeing shadows of people walking by which had been the case since we got there, I felt the need to monitor our car. I observed how packed the parking lot was and I thought to myself “we’re not alone in this discomfort and we’re doing what we’ve got to do like everybody else”. 

We layed down fully clothed on top of the bed and were on the road again by 5:00 am. By 2:00pm, we were at my oldest sister’s house in the south suburbs of Chicago. For the return trip, we’ve already reserved a hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas, which is about our mid travel point.

I’m so grateful for being able to be with my family this Thanksgiving. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I flew to Chicago at the beginning of November to attend my Uncle’s funeral. I have the double blessing of spending time with my family twice this year. The time with our families always reminds me of how precious life is and what’s truly important.

To see Bryan and our children with our family and friends has warmed my heart so much.

And even though I am not in my own kitchen, you know I’m going to be cooking the vegan/plant based Thanksgiving sides for everyone else to enjoy right??? Yes, I’m impressed with myself for maintaining this way of eating since June!

If Thanksgiving is celebrated in your part of the world, my hope is that it is abundant in love, food, and whatever else pleases your soul, restful, splendid, and blessed!

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Christmas Eve Message

Today was a pretty uneventful Christmas Eve. I slept in, worked out for an hour, and watched a few videos on YouTube. Then mid-afternoon, I decided to take a nap, headed to my bed and proceeded to spend several more hours watching YouTube videos and scrolling through my social media channels periodically. I felt that my body needed to do nothing and I actually listened. My husband, Bryan, picked up pizza for dinner so I didn’t cook. After I recuperated, I wrapped the rest of my Christmas gifts, straightened up the house a little, and began preparing for our Christmas meal. It’s going to be so good and a departure from what I said I was going to cook in my post Fall Food Chronicles 2020.

Yesterday was Bryan’s birthday. We started the celebration on Tuesday, a few hours after my doctor’s appointment, rather than Wednesday. His birthday is the same day as my mom, Solange’s, who passed away 3 years ago. It was a bittersweet day. Although my mom didn’t celebrate her birthday for religious reasons, it is still and will forever be her birthday. On Wednesday, I actually forgot it was her birthday until Bryan said something indicating he remembered. His memory has greatly improved in the last year. The reason why he has a problem with memory in the first place is due to hydrocephalus.

I felt bad for a little while because I forgot it was also my mom’s birthday. I had received some news that I was preoccupied with. My sister sent a group text to my siblings and myself indicating that she was missing our mom. I expressed how much I missed her too.

I was reminded that aside from this global COVID-19 pandemic, which has many people anxious and on edge, this time of the year, the holiday season, is difficult for many people. It’s especially difficult for those who have lost loved ones and friends, lost jobs, have strained or no relationships with their families, and/or don’t have a lot of money to get their kids what they want, let alone put food on the table. Many people have lost their loved ones due to COVID-19.

Some messages during the holiday season are that this is the season of sharing, caring, togetherness, giving, kindness, and gratitude. But there is also loss, grief, despair, depression, feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, and people who act unkind, impatient, and entitled.

It bothers me that people, including myself sometimes, lose sight of the real reason for Christmas, which is to celebrate Jesus’s birth. Jesus lived a life we can never fully live up to on this earth. Yet, there is pressure, at least depending on how you look at it, for people to spend money on gifts….a lot of money on gifts. I was at a retail store recently and to see how people were frantically looking for stuff to buy really struck me. Why do we feel so compelled to show people how much we love them by buying things?

I’m not sitting on my high horse looking down on everyone else either. I participated and bought my family gifts too, but we had some lean Christmas’s in my life where we got very creative. For us, this pandemic is a walk in the park compared to what Bryan and I have been through. In fact, our circumstances helped prepare us for it. My perspective has really shifted on what’s important in life. What’s important to me is keeping myself healthy so I can care for those whom I love and who love me. It’s also to ‘pay it forward’ and lend a helping hand when I can.

Last Christmas, I budgeted for gifts, but it was a lean Christmas. Bryan hadn’t worked in 3 years due to his health condition. The year before he did work for UPS during the season for about 2 months so we could have a great Christmas. That we did! Bryan had his first grand mal seizure in November 2019. He had another one in January 2020. My greatest lesson in these last few years is how precious life is. All of the other stuff is just extra. To be ALIVE is a blessing. To be able to help others is a blessing. I’m grateful that we had those hard times because I appreciate even more that we’re in a good place now.

My message in this post is for anyone who is struggling or grieving a loved one…cast your cares on God. I know it’s not easy, especially as you live through challenging times. Life is hard…so hard that I work to not let any bitterness or coldness settle into my heart. But if you can find one small thing to be grateful for, it will help. Praying and having people pray for you will help. It may not take you out of your situation immediately, but it will help ease the pain. And you will be better on the other side of it.

From my family to yours, I wish you a warm, bright, PEACEFUL, JOYOUS, and LOVE-FILLED, Christmas! Our gathering is usually small with Bryan, our 2 kids, and myself, so we didn’t have to make any modifications. However, I know many families are missing seeing each other. Hopefully, next year will be different. My family and friends and I have already been making plans to see each other in 2021.

I’d love to hear how you are spending the holidays. If you celebrate, what are you cooking for Christmas dinner? Mine is gonna be so good!

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Thank-FULL

Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday because of the fall season, cooler temps, comfort foods, and family and friend time. Although the family and friend time will be more challenging this year, I’m looking forward to CELEBRATING. There is much to be thankful for, even in the midst of this worldwide pandemic that’s boggling our minds. If you’re alive and reading this blog post, be thankful. It is very sad that many people have lost their lives, their loved ones, and their incomes and careers. If you’ve made it this far into 2020, despite the circumstances, be thankful.

I especially love this time of year because the spirit of generosity is amplified during the holiday season. People tend to be more giving of their time, resources, and money. I strive to be that way year round, especially in 2020. I learned many years ago that I can’t save the world and there are many things outside of my control. However, I can do things to express my gratitude such as sharing an extra kind word, providing an extra tip to a service professional, or sending a card of gratitude.

Thanksgiving Cards. LPC

I typically send Christmas cards, but not cards for Thanksgiving. My initial plan was to send cards to my team with a few words of appreciation for their their hard work and commitment. We haven’t worked in the same physical space for nine months, so I’ve had to be more creative with how I let them know how much they mean to me. Another trip to the Dollar Store to purchase more cards and a trip to the post office later, we mailed about 30 cards. If you’re in my tribe and didn’t get a card, don’t fret. I’ll likely catch you at Christmas.

My gesture wasn’t expensive (did you catch I bought the cards from the Dollar Store), but I think people appreciate a kind word and a gesture that lets them know someone is thinking of them. I was surprised that it took me about 2 hours to sign the cards for my team and I spent another 3 hours signing cards for family and friends. In the big scheme of things, it took a little bit of time and cost a little bit of money, but it felt great and made my heart FULL.

Gorgeous fall day November 2020. LPC

Without fail, no matter how I’m feeling, good or bad, happy or sad, I always feel better when I do something nice for someone else, no matter how small. And what I perceive as small, may mean the world to someone else, especially considering the isolation that many people are experiencing due to social distancing and other COVID-19 related measures.

My intent in sharing this post is not to boast, but to empower you to do something for someone else. If you’re not sure how to brighten up someone’s day, or if your day needs to be brightened, I encourage you to find a small, inexpensive (or free) way to spread joy and kindness to others. I’d even love it if you shared some ideas on this post.

2020 isn’t over yet, which means there are opportunities for more blessings, more goal crushing, more connections, more reflection, and more expressions of gratitude. Happy THANKSGIVING from my family to yours!

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“Routine” Independence Day

Unlike years past, July 4th, 2020 looked like any other day. It’s been my family’s tradition (hubby and kids) to attend the Auditorium Shores fireworks display in Austin for many years now. I love the experience of finding a spot on the grass with the crowd, snacking, playing games and enjoying the weather, and then later gasping at the magnificent display. Even if we couldn’t make it to “big” fireworks show in previous years, especially when the kids were little, we traveled to nearby, smaller towns to see their displays. However, last year, we made it to the big one.

July 4, 2019 LPC

It felt great sleeping in this morning. I took a couple of days off work on Thursday and Friday. My husband and I took our routine walk and hike along one of our favorite trails before it got too hot. We returned to the house and I made bacon, pancakes, and eggs for brunch. I ran a few errands, took a nap and made chilli dogs and chocolate chip cookies (their favorite). My son got to eat before he went to work. It was a quiet, peaceful, and normal day…normal as it can be with COVID-19 looming.

My famous chocolate chip cookies. LPC

Instead of complaining about the state our world is in right now, I choose to focus on how immensely grateful I am for being born and raised in this country. Despite the problems and history of the U.S., I can tell you I appreciate the freedoms we have in this country.

My parents and most of my family were immigrants from Haiti. From my view, people from other countries who have hopes and dreams of living a better life in the U.S. view the U.S. differently than those born and raised here. I don’t want to make any political statements, but I’ve received a good education, I’ve never been persecuted for earning an education as a woman, I can vote for who I want, and I can choose how and where I want to live.

Fireworks, Austin, TX July 4, 2019

Yes, there are absolutely problems in this country, but I’m free…free to live my life in peace. As the country celebrates it’s independence from Great Britain, I celebrate living the life I want, where I want. I’m hopeful for the future despite the pandemic and racial unrest.

I hope you had a safe and peaceful day.

What are you grateful for this independence day?

Fireworks, Austin, Texas July 4, 2019
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Blessings abound

Even in the midst of a pandemic, blessings abound. I’m approaching my 8th week of telework already and it has been an adjustment. Yet, my stress from the work commute is zero. I’ve been meeting some work related goals such as hiring another brilliant person to my team. My family and I have been spending unprecidented amounts of time together without being at each other’s throats. My son got hired at Walmart about a month ago. I feel loved, safe, and healthy. I’m actually reluctant to return to the office whenever that is and my agency is definitely in the planning stages.

My husband, Bryan, and I have had our share of hardship over the years, but particularly since 2016. We have serious battle scars, so as I’ve indicated in previous posts, this pandemic pales in comparison to what we’ve been through. Hell, I even took the COVID-19 test and never worried about the results. We were so thrilled when we received the FABULOUS news that Bryan’s social security disability was finally approved after two years since he applied.

Bryan’s social security disability hearing with an administrative law judge was held in March… right when COVID-19 was solidifying itself as a global pandemic. I think it’s cruel for a person to be forced to wait so long (years) to get results. When I worked at an outpatient mental health clinic years ago, I saw my clients struggle with housing, food, and health issues as they waited on disability. On some level, I’m assured that the government doesn’t just grant it to whoever who asks. You have to prove you need disability. It is what it is and ours was approved during a time when many people are living through very tough financial circumstances due to COVID-19.

I’ve financially supported my household solely for almost 3 years. I would be lying if I didnt tell you it was a struggle at times, especially in the last 6 months. It did force us to be very careful about spending and stick to a budget. We’ve accumulated so many medical bills due to both of our health issues. After a while my credit score began to suffer, but I knew in January 2020 things would get a little worse before they got better. That didn’t stop me from making a plan. See my previous posts about my 2020 financial goals.

I’m so grateful to have been able to support my family and will continue to do so. Bryan’s social security disability determination puts an end to the waiting, wondering, and stressing. A huge weight has been lifted from Bryan’s shoulders more so than mine. I also find the news bitter sweet because it confirms he has a disability, but we’ve known this and are coping with it just fine. Now, Bryan gets to put this process behind him and plan what his future will be.

This past week was one of the best weeks for us in a long time because we were able to pay off some debt, add to our savings, and gift funds to our family. We did make a few purchases. The gifting was the most exciting part. We also tithed to our church. On top of that, on Thursday, my boss told me I received a raise (without asking)!!!

And the ultimate activity that almost took me over the edge on Friday was telling a few members on my team that they would be getting raises, unbeknownst to them. They were so surprised and one told me her spouse had been impacted by COVID-19, so the raise was shocking and much appreciated. I was grateful I had a window of opportunity a couple of months back to make this happen for them.

I wasn’t sure about posting this message because I never want it to seem as if I’m tooting my own horn. I struggle with embracing the good in my life with humility. If you get anything out of my message, I hope it’s that with patience, faith in God, positive action, and perseverance, you can get through just about anything. Just keep moving forward.

How have you been coping? What blessings have you seen come out of this pandemic?

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Forever shopping in my closet

I’ve finally done what I committed to do back in July 2016.  If it weren’t for me rereading my blog post on Closet Shopping, which you can read here, I probably would’ve thought I just recently came up with the idea to take pictures of outfits I assemble with my existing wardrobe. Genius! Yesterday, I spent most of Saturday (7 to 8 hours) getting reacquainted with the clothes in my closet. As I prepare for 2020, I want to let go of feeling like I don’t have enough.  I have plenty!

For clarification purposes, on this recent endeavor, I was focused on my winter wardrobe, which mostly occupies the closet space in my bedroom. My summer clothes reside in my daughter’s closet. With changing seasons, I switch out the clothes.  I grew up in the midwest (Chicago, IL) so changing clothes with the seasons is a habit. 

I didn’t think it would take me 7-8 hours, but time flies when you’re having fun. I had my music playing in the background as I diligently went through my clothes, focusing on the pieces where I tend to have more difficulty assembling outfits.  As the QUEEN of “separates”, I sometimes forget which pieces work well together.  This exercise will help me remember. 

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I enjoyed this outfit at the office earlier in December. I felt extra chic with my black tights and black suede boots. LPC

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At home after church 12-29-19 LPC

Clearly, I’m not a photographer.  After I tried on combinations I liked, I just layed out the pieces on my bed and took pictures with my phone camera.  The lighting in my bedroom is HORRIBLE.  You can see it didn’t capture the vibrant hue of this sparkly blue top. The impetus for assembling my outfits is that I had an epiphany recently.  I spend very little time getting myself dressed because I’m often multitasking, trying to get things done that I think are more important.   

This became apparent to me when I ended up not liking the outfit I put together for Christmas Eve service at church.  My husband and I took a picture together at a display at the church sanctuary, and let’s just say, I didn’t post the picture to my social media.  A complete ensemble consists of not just the clothes, but jewelry, shoes, and a hairstyle.  I have a bad habit of neglecting to spend time on the whole ensemble.  This will change. 

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Golden. LPC

Another epiphany I had is that when I was in my shopping frenzy heyday, I didn’t have a systematic way to shopping.  Unless, there was a special occasion, which was rare, I shopped sales.  This could be another reason why it feels like I don’t have complete outfits, but just a bunch of pieces.  My mom would ask me why I had so many tops, which is still true to this day. I think it’s easier to pick up another pretty shirt.  I didn’t have to put much thought in it.  Over the years, I’ve gotten more strategic about pieces I need (i.e., black dress pants, white shirt, etc.) 

The good thing is as long as my clothes are good quality, I hold onto them for years.  I still  wear some clothes as old as my daughter (she’s 14).  The brown skirt pictured above with the gold shirt is about 13 or 14 years old. I bought the gold shirt and necklace (separate purchases and stores) about 2 years ago.  

My weight has fluctuated over the years, but I’ve lost roughly 25 pounds two years post having my daughter.  I’ve already given away clothes that were too big (except for a few favorite pieces), which is why I probably don’t have any clothes from the time I had my son.  I was heavier then.  Three years ago, I lost more weight and have been maintaining all except 5 pounds. 

In 2020, my goal is to lose 20 pounds.  Although I’m putting shopping on pause now, I will likely need to shop in the future to accommodate my smaller frame.  I need to find a talented tailor for a few pieces I have now and in the future. 

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Pop of color LPC

 

There was a time I had very little black pieces in my wardrobe. I loved bright colors and I still do to this day. Then about 15 years ago, I had a manager who mostly wore black. She used to live in New York City for a period and I noticed she wore black often. She said everyone wears black in New York because it’s chic.  She had me thinking about black, so I added a few black pieces to my wardrobe.

I hope this post encourages someone to stop the madness of constantly buying clothes only to constantly feel like you have nothing to wear.  Why buy things if you don’t take the time to enjoy them.  Spending a whole day in my closet, assembling outfits is a rare treat, but it gave me an appreciation for what I have.  

And what I do have is a whole lot of dresses, especially summer dresses.  I didn’t bother taking pictures of them all.  That will be a future post in the spring.  I’ll have fun pairing them with blazers and dress sandals.  What I’ve learned since living in Texas for 22 years is that you can turn a summer dress into a winter ensemble by simply adding a sweater and some boots. Just like that, I’m able to extend the life of my dresses. 

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Dress is best.  LPC

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Muted hues LPC

I have a small closet filled with clothes and I haven’t even touched the surface.  In my earlier post on Closet Shopping, which you can read here I give insight into how growing up poor contributed to my obsession with clothes. 

Although assembling outfits from my existing wardrobe was a useful and fun experience for me, I want to acknowledge I also felt overwhelmed.  I only touched about 40-50% of the clothes in my closet.  I assembled approximately 25 outfits (not all pictured). 

Earlier in the year, I purged a decent amount of clothes after I watched Marie Kondo on Netflix.  I did the exercise of purging the clothes that no longer served me and I kept the ones which brought me joy.  I think purging should be reevaluated periodically.  It’s not a “one and done” activity.  What brought me joy 9 months ago, may not be bringing me any joy today.  You can apply this to other aspects of your life. 

One light lesson as we close 2019 is I need to purge some “things” from my closet. 

Namely, I want to let go of these false truths:

  1. I don’t have enough
  2. I have to be constantly acquiring stuff to satisfy me
  3. External things define me

The truths I plan to embody are:

  1. I am enough
  2. I have enough
  3. External and materials things don’t define me

How much time do you spend coordinating your outfits? What’s in your closet that you might need to purge? What are you looking forward to in 2020? 

 

 

 

 

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The Slow Down

I love the holiday season for many obvious reasons: family time, delicious food, sleeping in, holiday decorations, nostalgic feelings, and connecting with family and friends. There is one more reason I’ve been craving since August: the overall slow down. I’m able to unravel my thoughts after a few days of rest. During the “non-holiday” part of the year, life can be fast-paced, busy, sometimes chaotic…especially my life. If you’ve followed my blog, you’ll know I’ve had a lot going on since 12/26/2017. My Thanksgiving 2018 was no fuss, no travel, no rush, and no stress. I was only surrounded by my husband and children. We made calls to family, but ours was a quiet Thanksgiving. A friend said she might stop by, but there was no pressure or expectation. She ended up not coming, which was worked out fine.

The holiday slow down is my time to refuel, realign, and re-engage with my family and myself. I planned an extra day off work today because I like to be off on Cyber Monday (although my holiday money hasn’t arrived yet 😑). I also prefer not return to work on a Monday after an extended weekend off. Ironically, my plans for today includes catching up on some office work, but it will be balanced with some pampering, organizing, and getting up to speed on my personal affairs.

Although I’m slowing down, I fully recognize that for many people, this is the time of year for what seems like endless shopping, holiday parties, and overall doing and buying stuff. Even the driving on the roads tends to being more frenetic and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more car accidents this time of year. I don’t want to fall into the trap this season. Yes, I will Christmas shop (mostly online) as I do have 2 children, but it will not be the mindless, overconsumption of stuff.

There’s something to be said for giving yourself what you need and creating a space for it to happen. I’m grateful I can create this space for myself.