This doesn’t apply to everyone, but something weird happens when you’ve been married to someone for almost 20 years like myself. The details of life can wear you down, flip the script and highlight all of the negative things about your beloved spouse whereas in the beginning years, you focused only on the beautiful things.

Recently, a memory flashed in my mind of when I was recovering from giving birth to my daughter. I was heavily sedated in the hospital due to extreme pain after the anesthesia wore off from the c-section and I remembered my husband whispering a message in my ear a few times, “Get better…our babies need you.” One might argue he said that for selfish reasons, but I know he was encouraging me to get better so I could take care of OUR babies. They all needed me including him. I also have memories of him kissing me on my forehead from time to time as I was sleeping. If he still does it, I wouldn’t know because I sleep like a brick nowadays. Whatever the case, when I think about very intimate memories like those, I get a warm feeling inside and am reminded of the unmistakable love my husband has for me. Hold on to memories like that. Use those reminders to fuel the flame and draw closer…not farther away.