Image

On the road again…which road?

My mother does not approve of my work travel. She doesn’t understand how a wife and mother of 2 children can be away from her family for even 1 night.  One of my routine trips which I’ve made many times in 3 years is from Austin to Huntsville.  I recently returned from that trip the day before she arrived from Chicago last weekend. What my mom does not know is that traveling is my favorite part of work because it changes the work pace, allows me to meet new people or get re-acquainted with other colleagues, make new discoveries, visit new cities or revisit familiar ones, and provides me with some alone time that is definitely beneficial to my self-care.  I especially enjoy the drive to Huntsville, leaving before dawn, because I have the space to think about family, my personal life and work.  As mostly an introvert, I relish in the time alone with my thoughts.  I also use that time to seek clarity and guidance from God.

Speaking of roads, I’m thinking about the long, hard road of judgement I’ve endured throughout my whole life, particularly growing up.  Yes, I’m even surprising myself with how bleak this sounds as I type, but it’s the truth.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel…I promise.  I’ve mentioned before that I come from a very judgmental family and the judgement continues depending on the topic.  With my mom’s recent visit, I’m having some empathy for myself right now. What is it that has allowed me to live in my truth despite all of the judgement and disapproval over the years?

Some ingredients that I think are necessary for living in your own truth despite the naysayers (i.e., haters…although I don’t particularly prefer that term), including your family, are courage, confidence, persistence, perseverance, and downright stubbornness.  It takes great courage to stand up for yourself. Fear usually accompanies courage, so you’ll often have to act in spite of your fears.  When you realize that no one else will stand up for you like you, it becomes easier.  It might even make you angry, which is useful fuel in this case because it will push you to use your voice and make any necessary changes.

I believe that confidence comes from learning about, practicing, and believing in whatever your truth is. I’m also confident and have comfort in knowing that God is leading me to be the best that I can be and no one else can compete with God. I’m persistent and have great faith that things will work out as long as I stay the course.  I’ve seen some fruits of my persistence and faith, which simply encourages me to keep going.  If I ever feel like giving up, I think about how far I’ve come and what has come to fruition thus far.

Patience is important with perseverance because it can be a long road depending on who the naysayers are in your life and what power they have, or think they have, over you. You may be your own naysayer. There may be time-sucking roadblocks that you have to maneuver to get back on course. However, I like the challenge of sticking it out until the end, whatever/whenever the end is, and proving them wrong (you see my slightly competitive edge here). And true to my zodiac sign, I can be downright stubborn.  If I know something is true, especially as it pertains to my truth, then I’m going to hold my ground.  You don’t have to be a Taurus like me to be stubborn.  Just hold your ground on things pertaining to your own personal truth and things that you really believe and can back up.  At the end of the day, people will respect you for it.

There is the saying that “it’s about the journey not the destination”. One day, I hope to fully enjoy this road of self-discovery that I am on while I’m on it.  It’s taken me a great deal to get here, more than I’ve indicated in this post.  It doesn’t always feel like a smooth ride, but the signs I’ve seen indicate that it’s not meant to be smooth and easy.  I’ve at least gotten to a place where I’m appreciating the lessons and revelations along the way.

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “On the road again…which road?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s